I have a new, new job. In this new, new job, part of my new, new job is to place large volume fans in such a way so as to dry stuff out.
The first fan I placed by myself was set under a ceiling so as to dry it. The nob on the fan had an off, a one, a two and a three setting. I cranked that puppy up to three and walked away. The next day I set one in a hallway, and turned it to one. I noticed that it was very very strong at the number one setting. ‘Damn,’ thought I, ‘if that’s one, then what the hell is three like?’ I turned it to two, wondering what would happen, and lo and behold, it became weaker as it went from one to three. Makes sense right?
Needless to say the one pointed at the ceiling and set at three, didn’t dry the ceileing very fast.
I also took moisture readings without first taking the cap off of the probe.
I’m getting a “wellness test”. I refrained from telling my boss the a “wellness test” was the stupidest thing I had ever heard, and that it was a rip-off. One good thing about this test is that they are going to fit me for a full-face respirator. That’s not so stupid. Just keep your hands off my wellness.
They are happy that I’m a “real go-getter”. That is good, I guess, but it depends on what it is they want me to “go-get”. I can see it now. “You’re a real go-getter, Frank, now go get me a cup of coffee.”
I have worked with my boss a total of five days out of three weeks. We actually do just fine without him.
Just what does it mean to “brandish” a weapon?
Well, Halloween is over and Christmas is nearly upon us...
The comercials that make me hit the mute button the fastest are:
1) Old Navy
2) I-pod
3) Enzyte
4) Fitness made easy with John Basedow.
5) Anything with kids singing.
6) Any jewelry-for-Christmas-commercials (puke-city).
7) Any Cars-for-Christmas commercials
8) Web MD.
9) The one for Herpes cream, that shows a chick riding around on her bike with her boyfriend. It’s all done in black and white. (I wonder if he would be smiling so much if only he knew...).
By the way, when you look closely at the ads for the ‘ab lounge’ when they say it’s “University tested,” they show two people looking at a computer monitor and using what looks to me like the program for music multi-tracking; pro-tools.
I know what your thinking. Your thinking that I watch too much TV. I don't. I do, however, watch too much football. Especially because I watch the Forty-Niners. They suck. Bad.
Time once again to piss-off the liberals.
For those of you who want to ban GMO’s I say this: Dear people who don’t want, abortions, clones, stem cell research, space exploration, fake tit’s, violence in movies, electricity, big trucks, guns, meat, cell phones, alcohol, porn, pesticides, microwave ovens, and GMO’s. If you don’t like it...
DON’T USE IT, BUY IT, OR DO IT!!!
But for you to tell the rest of us the we cant do it, unless you can prove, IN DOUBLE BLIND CONTROLLED STUDIES, that it is harming most people most of the time, (and even then, it’s still a free country isn’t it?), then please GO AWAY.
Thank you.
Now for the conservative.
I think I’ve figured it out:
God likes America best. How do we know? That’s easy. God has blessed US with the most powerful military, and the most powerful economy in the history of the world. That’s why we have to do what God wants or he will take away those great blessings. If you vote for Bush, the moral candidate, then you vote for God. Bush is against abortions, stem cell research, and gay marriages and is a good Christian. That other guy clearly isn’t.
But wait, you ask, how do you know God is against abortions, and gay marriage? Well that’s easy, silly! Because its in the Bible. Duh!
And there you have it. Bush (the moral choice) in the white-house, Kerry (the anti-war guy) on the golf course.
My question is this: When did Jesus ever say that guns and money are the way to go?
Also, does that mean that Zeus came before God? The Roman empire lasted far far longer then the United States empire.
“All of Europe was hoping that Kerry would win.”
-Person from Amsterdam, Wednesday night.
“Nothing else exists except atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion.”
-Democritus, 5th cent B.C., fragment.
I think the Democrats are going through some growing pains. Remember, fellow progressives, that the conservatives had to suffer through eight years of Bubba Clinton’s reign of terror.
Remember too, progressives, that in this country, you have to come across well on TV. You also have to have charisma, and you have to hope that the conservative propaganda machine doesn’t succeed in making its points against some of those factors.
“No wonder the President was an actor. You have to look good on TV.”
.. says Doc, from ‘Back to the Future’.
How true it is. You have to have an enigmatic, or magnetic personality in order to pierce brain petrification of the inbred hillbillies that live amongst the rows of corn. (thanks phil this is great)
Remember, folks; this is the country that thrust Paris Hilton into the ranks of the celebrities And all because of a home-made porn film, and a stupid reality show.
John Kerry’s strengths were his weaknesses. During the Vietnam war he was constantly keeping the anger of his fellow vets in check, because he knew that it would cause the powers that be to discount what they had to say. They had to be calm, and not violent, when talking about peace. Makes sense right?
This is why he came across as wooden and unfeeling on TV. It didn’t matter that Dubya was a brainless moron throughout the debates. Kerry looked like a brainless moron, even when what he said made sense to the average person who has a brain. He wasn’t able to sell it. I wonder if John Kerry were to allow any emotion, it would have been to kick the living shit out of that big-eared dork that kept saying the same stupid nonsense over and over, and also forcing a war that should never have been, like Vietnam.
Remember too, kids that to much of this country, ones devotion to ones God, is more important then...
you know what I’m not even going to try and explain this. Jesus would not want us at war. Jesus doesn’t care if go a-huntin' or not. Jesus is not punishing us for allowing abortions to be legal, by throwing terrorist planes our way. You are right, progressives, the whole thing makes no sense!
Ahmen.
Do I sound bitter? I am.
By the way, I just read in the Bohemian, a local Liberal fish-wrap, that Marin county has now banned GMO’s. It said that Sonoma county is next, it being a bridge between Mendocino, and Marin counties. Don’t even try it, hippies! Go back to Marin. Go back to the stone age. Stay the hell away from our vineyards.
Filming for a TV ad was reportedly held up - because J-Lo's ass was too big for her skimpy outfit.
A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex.
Stolen banknotes dumped in a US creek were found by beavers and weaved into their dam.
A Romanian female judge, who was accused of starring in a porn movie, has resigned.
Police in Germany had to rescue a swiming pool attendant at a hen party after the bride-to-be tried to bully him into having sex.
A middle-aged romeo has been banned from an internet dating agency for sleeping with more than 100 women.
A Romanian man is demanding a divorce after finding out he married the twin sister of the woman he fell in love with.
An irate soccer manager got in his jeep and tried to run over a referee after a penalty was awarded against his team.
Scientists working in Indonesia have found the remains of a new species of human. The discovery of the species, nicknamed The Hobbit because it was just three feet tall, could rewrite theories of human evolution.
and ...
NASA is going to use its satellites to monitor Earth's global warming.
and..
Also, did you know that Hybrid cars are all the rage now? Why, how, what?, you ask. Because they have power and speed, and are cheap to run. But not cheap to buy. Still, it’s a good start.
and..
Did you know that so called Creationsts have forced public school textbooks to “disclaim” evolution by stating that it is only a theory? They have. Remember, kids, Einstein’s ‘theory’ of relativity, doesn’t mean it has been unproven. The theory of evolution has been 99.99 percent proven. The theory of Creationism has been .01 percent proven. Which should be disclaimed? Who is screaming and yelling at the rest of us to go back in time?
Ooh, look, who wants to be “ Anti-Christ for a day ”?
“Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”
-Mark Twain cerca ad, 1910 attributed, inscribed beneath his bust in the Hall of Fame.
Thank you, Mark.
“Short, shriveled and always to the left.”
-Jim Carey, in 'Liar Liar', when asked, “How’s it hangin’?”
Has anyone actually thought about the concept of star sixty nine? Somebody got over on some poor fool at the FCC, methinks.
Does anyone else read like me? Below was no problem for me; I skim.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
When I read out loud, however, I often get words wrong. Hmmm.
Does anyone else think the term ‘up in arms’ is funny. Just imagine a group of people who are ‘up in arms’.
George Bush is still a moron. The war in Iraq will still fail miserably. Four more years? Good God. Maybe it will only be one or two, like Richard Nixon.
Prove me wrong Michael Moore, but the election was not rigged. Sorry.
Did anyone catch the tazer incident on the show Cops? I didn’t. I won’t watch Cops, but they played the audio on Howard Stern and it sounds funny.
Check out good crazyness . here .
Carefully, carefully, 1,818 Krispy Kreme doughnuts were built into a 5-foot, 3-inch heap in an attempt to set a world record for the highest doughnut wedding cake.
Taking to heart the credo that friends should never let friends drive drunk, a man shot out two tires on his pal's car to keep him from driving under the influence.
Yasser Arafat's brain is now functioning only partially, and all of his organs except for his heart and lungs have failed. I’m sure Mossad is at fault.
By the way I just read a good book called ‘Nimitz Class’. It’s a good read, but I found certain facts contained therein interesting. The US aircraft carrier group is the most powerful force on earth. It is capable of reaching eighty five percent of the land on earth. There is relative peace and stability in the world because most of the worlds population rests within the iron fist of this military juggernaut. An aircraft carrier, without it’s crew, planes, and escort, cost 440 billion dollars. We operate twelve of these groups year round, twenty four seven. Presently we live in an era of ‘Pax Americana’, or peace because we say so. Not NATO, not the UN, the US, and US alone.
“With great power comes great responsibility” says Spiderman’s Aunt.
As much as I hate our idiot-in-chief, because I feel he is abusing this power, I am still glad the power does not rest in the hands of China or Russia, or anyone else but US.
Oh, and by the way, conservatives, this is not so because Jesus wills it. Sorry.
Discuss.
The first ever beauty competition for transvestites has been held near Bangkok in Thailand.
By the way, she-males are just cool. So are little old ladies.
“Perseverance is more prevailing then violence, and many things which cannot be overcome when taken together, yield themselves up when taken little by little.”
-Plutarch, Life of Sertorious in Parallel lives, c.A..D. 100
“In this world there is one terrible thing, and that is that everyone has his reasons.”
-Jean Renoir, screenplay, The Rules of the Game, 1993
“If we were ever to write a love song it would be about beer.”
Metallica, cerca a long-ass-time-ago.
“People see only what they are prepared to see.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journal, 1863.
Indeed.