Welcome to The FRANK FILES!

FrankFiles 2.2

Is the whole world crazy?

Things I have witnessed with my own two eyes.

People asking for fifteen or twenty minutes, “Who owns the white volvo, who owns the white volvo?” No one owned the white Volvo. Finally someone asked “Why?” The answer: “Because it’s on fire.”

People trying to call 911 on their cell phones and having no luck because “The only phone here is a pay phone.”

A lady was out of her car, stopped in the middle of a curvy road, cliff on one side, creek on the other. Why? To comfort a deer that she had hit. I think she wanted to accompany it to the afterlife. Hopefully she didn’t bring any other people or cars along for the ride as well.

A driver pulling off to the right side of the road with their left turn signal on. Why? To make a U-turn. Right in front of me. I guess I’ll see you on the other side as well.

A guy routinely pushing the GFI reset button on an electrical outlet with a very long and very sharp kitchen knife.

Kids standing over a pile of fireworks, and lighting off fireworks. Crowds of people standing around and watching.

That is all I can think of at this moment. There are many others.

Dear World: PAY ATTENTION !!

P.S.: 911 does not charge you to call them. Even at a payphone.

P.P.S. : Why do people think they can stop leaky pipes and valves with saran wrap and duct tape?? It’s never worked before, why would it work now?

By the way, if you get a chance, check out the Battlestar Galactica Re-make mini-series on sci fi. Awesome!

Book I am reading: Fahrenheit 451 (For about the fifth time. Read this book. Now.)

Question: When is it good to support the leadership of other countries by allowing trade, even when their governments are bad? Do our leaders use our markets and companies to make political statements? What do you tell the public when you do? What do you tell the public when you don’t? (In Germany they teach that the US helped Hitler gain power by allowing trade between our two countries.)( I don’t think they teach that here.)

Question: Why do people speed up to pass you as they go down the off ramp?

You know what's really funny? Make-up "For that Natural Look."
Or how about shampoo for "Healthy looking hair" (What's wrong with healthy hair?)

Words of wisdom, by me:
“It is the ignorant who think they have all the answers. It is the wise who admit they do not.”

Words of wisdom, by Gandhi:
“I see neither bravery nor sacrifice in destroying life or property in offence or defense.”

"What ever happened to coffee flavored coffee?"
-Denis Leary

GLOC
“The quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest”
-Rosanne

Peace out.

FrankFiles 2.1

Well we got em. Yippee. Now it’s kind of funny, but why do you think it is, that he keeps insisting that no weapons of mass destruction exist? He could be lying, yes, but what if they never did exist?

Then why didn’t he let us in before the invasion? Why didn’t he let the U.N. in to inspect? I don’t have the answers. Just ask yourselves. If you were a Military Dictator in charge of an entire nation would you let the infidel US tell you what to do?

If there really are no WMD’s then the whole thing is a farce. The whole thing was a lie or at least a mistake. One that cost billions in dollars and who knows how many lives. All lives. If good old ‘Dubya’ really was wrong about this whole thing then what?

First of all, this was never about ‘Freedom’, nor was it about the Iraqis, nor a murderous dictator who killed his own people blah blah blah. It was about WMD’s. All this-after-the-fact propaganda is a smokescreen. One that most Americans seem to be swallowing. (I truly believe that most Americans swallow whatever crap the boob tube happens to shovel their way.)

By the way, I was, and still am in full support of the war in Afghanistan, because it was about our immediate safety as Americans. The Taliban had to go, come hell or high water.

But, how in the world do you bring the might of the only world’s superpower to bare upon one Nation, invade, kill, blow up, ‘try’ to rebuild, and then say “Oops, sorry, we were wrong. Guess you never were a threat to us after all. My bad.”

If (still a big IF ) this is the case then I, for one, think George W. Bush should be strung up by his scrotum, tied to the flag pole above the White House and HAVE AN AMERICAN FLAG SHOVED UP HIS ASS!!!

These are the people who never let up on Bill Clinton, they never... let... up! They dragged his name through the mud and made a mockery of the Impeachment process when the poles clearly showed that people didn’t care about Bill’s personal conduct.

Bring back the adulterer, please bring back the adulterer.

WE ARE NOT SAFER, EVERYBODY, WE ARE LESS SAFE!!!.

We have infuriated some of the world and alienated most of it. The “War on Terror” will never be won if we keep going about things the way we are now. I sure hope the “War on Terror” is met with more success then the “War on Drugs.” Boy, now that is a depressing thought.

“I just can’t get over the fact that we are at war with people who live in caves.”
Comedian who’s name I can’t remember.

“How do you bomb somebody and then try to feed them?”
Another Comedian who’s name I can’t remember.

Enough on that. Hey I wonder. Will the CIA flag my blog and come to get me. If so, it should be interesting. I have every right to say what I’m saying. It needs to be said.

Starbucks. How I love to hate Starbucks. Them with their own special language. “Gran”, “Veenta”, “Barista”! Barista means bar tender in Italian. You people make me sick.. Do you know what I like to do? On the rare occasion that I do go into a Starbucks, I make a deliberate point to say “I would like a LARGE mocha.” They are always a little bummed at my lack of Starbucks esprit de corps. Speak English dammit!!

Again I ask you my fellow Californians, why is it that a few rain drops in the sky suddenly turns ninety percent of you drivers into little old ladies, and the other ten percent into testosterone crazed teenagers. Does one have anything to do with the other? Which one are you?

GLOC:

“Hey you can’t have strippers in your TV commercials. Yesterday we had nuns out in front picketing! Rufus had to get out the firehose.”
“Yeah, and I knocked them motherfuckers right on they’ ass too!!!”

From ‘Used Cars’

Peace to you and your's, and a Merry Christmas!
Much love from the FrankFiles.

NOTE by CANYON -- 2 CROM GOD of STEEL Mixes are now available on the PixelBiscuit Audio Page. Enjoy the rockin' beats.

FrankFiles 2.0

What do you know, the cover story of Newsweek this week is entitled “Lawsuit Hell.” Last week I promised to mention things that the Liberals have fu**ed up. Well folks that was going to be at the top of the list. The article starts like this:
“Doctors. Teachers. Coaches. Ministers. They all share a common fear: being sued on the job.”

This is not a good thing. Let me say something that many people do not understand. We don’t live in a perfect world. Shit happens. People make mistakes. Honest mistakes. Are any of you perfect? Are any of you trying to help other people? The list of professions in the above quote are seriously good people doing jobs that matter. Lets not sue them into extinction.

The place in Fort Bragg that my Father left behind for me. It costs upward of five thousand dollars a year to insure, and my agent tells me we are lucky to have insurance at all. These lawsuits are going to ruin our economy if something is not done about the number and the type of lawsuits being files.

California is one of the most litigious states in the Union and I place the blame squarely on the Liberals.

Ralph Nader??? Come on. He describes trial lawyers as “all that is left to require wrongdoers to be held accountable.” I know that the consumers and the workers need to have someone looking out for them. I also know that the Republicans are not doing so. What has happened? Everyone is looking to make a quick buck. People sue. Lawyers make money. Insurance goes up. Everybody takes it right in the ass.

Oh,...what?..... the tank? Yes,... that was my creation. Thanks for asking.

Before I forget, our grammar lesson for the week that should have been included in last weeks files: “I could care less.” That means nothing. It should be “I could NOT care less.”

My weekly game of movie line trivia is evolving. I think I am going to change it to “Great Lines on Camera. GLOC. Hey I kinda like that.
GLOC:

Little kid: “Waaaah, I want my Mommie.”
Al Bundy: “So does your Daddies brother. It doesn’t mean he’s gonna get her.”

Next week: more on what the Liberals have fu**ed up.

Catch you later.

Frank

P.S. Is anybody out there?

FrankFiles 1.9

Hi kiddies welcome back.

Note to the world. “Irregardless” is not a word. Try “regardless”. Wait a minute. My spell checker is not underlining it. Hmm.

When someone says “How are you?” Do not say “Good.” That is not correct English. “Well.” would be the proper way to reply. Just thought you might like to know that tidbit.

The word “literally” is misused a-lot. I was not going literally a million miles per hour. I was going figuratively a million miles an hour. I might have been going literally ninety five miles an hour and then literally lying about it to the cop who pulled me over.

Hello, everyone who drives. The left hand lane is the FAST LANE!! Get out of the way, slow people!!

Hello, dudes in big trucks. Stop driving like jerks. All of you. This isn’t a monster truck rally. And stop tailgating everyone. Do you all suffer from penis envy?

Hello, drivers? IT’S JUST RAIN, NOT TOXIC WASTE!!! Try living in Minnesota if you think it’s bad here.

New Conservatism:

Federal spending is up 26 percent.

This Republican Administration has launched a pre-emptive invasion of another sovereign nation for reasons that have proven to be groundless.

The President has failed American steel workers by removing a tariff on foreign steel.

Quote from our friendly neighborhood President:
"The best way to get the news is from objective sources...and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."

I wonder if they let him drink out of a glass or do they serve him his O'douls in a tippy cup?

The largest expansion of entitlements since Medicare was enacted 38 years ago has been put into place. (I know, lets BUY the votes of the elderly and force the next generation to pay for it!!!)

I always laugh when I see a big truck that has a bumper sticker that says: 'Bush for President'. Then on the other side it says: 'Union Yes'. Fools!

Kids, don’t kid yourself. In my lowly opinion the Republican Party is in place solely to protect the very rich. They cloak this protection in the faith of religious ideology, and in nationalistic pride, two things I for one find very dangerous when misused. The protection of slavery was also intertwined in such a manner. THAT protection led to a civil war.

Sorry my Conservative friends. I hope I'm not alienating you too much. These are just my lowly opinions which are, incidentally, right.

By the way I do not buy into many ideas of the far left. In my lowly opinion most liberals, while their collective hearts are in the right place, (actually good intentions are no excuse) I find liberals to be generally uninformed and reactionary. Also illogical. Actually in my lowly opinion most people are illogical. Jesus, I sound like Dr. Spock. Enough. Next week; things the liberals have fu**ed up.

Speaking of Aliens, the Directors cut is out and now all the happy little boys and girls get to go and see this excellent movie in theaters. Yeah!

Words to live by, by Ram Dass:
“Be here, now.”
Words to live by, by me:
“Be here now, losers!”

Also, “If all you people have such a problem with the female body, take it up with the manufacturer.”
Larry Flint.

Also, "It's like being married to my best friend. One that lets me feel his boobs."
Homer Simpson.

Guess what, everybody! Now, during the Superbowl half time show we have an alternative to the song and dancing of sell out rock bands and irritating pop singers. There will be a pay per view of a seven on seven tackle football game played by lagerie models! Only twenty dollars!! I cant wait.

NTL
Last week's line was from the movie ‘How to get ahead in advertising’.

This week:
Wait til next week. I aint got no time right now.

Bye bye.